I took a totally impromptu trip to the New York Salsa Congress on Saturday night (more on that later).
I had a really great time, but the night got off to a bad start. One of the very first people I danced with got hit in the face with my ponytail while putting me through a fast spin. Clutching his face as if his eyes had just been gauged out, he yelled at me at how much I had hurt him and stormed away. I apologized, but honestly, these things happen all the time. If you do the math, you can see I have a ponytail, you can see its length, and if you put me through a fast spin and the distance between your face and my head is smaller than the length of my ponytail, it’s probably going to hit you in the face.
I have many bruises all over my body from heels crunching down on my feet, elbows and shoulders crashing into me during spins, and inattentive floorcraft. I call them my “battle wounds” and don’t think anyone is to blame. It’s par for the course of salsa dancing on a crowded floor. It wasn’t very polite of this guy to storm off in the middle of a song as if I had intentionally injured him. The experience made me feel so bad, it took several good dances to get me back on track.
Would you believe it, about an hour later, the same guy came over and asked me to dance again? I rarely say no, but ungentlemanly behavior tends to get you on my blacklist. I responded, “No, I wouldn’t want to hit you in the face with my ponytail again.”
Here’s a sidebar on some other choice anecdotes on ungentlemanly ways to treat a potential partner:
- Probably not the best way to ask a woman to dance (Siguiendo mi corazon),
- A guide to invitations, by a traumatized dancer (La Planchadora), and
- On gods and dogs (La Nuit Blanche– scroll down to the last 4-5 paragraphs)
Saturday’s incident reminds me of an unpleasant experience I had a few months ago at CG, where a woman whose arm had made contact with my elbow at some point during the song (quick apology was made at the time) tried to start an argument with me afterwards because she felt that she had been gravely injured and didn’t feel my apology had been sincere enough. All I can think is that she must have been new to dancing in a club environment and didn’t realize that what happened was pretty common.
At some point Saturday night, among other minor injuries, an unknown woman managed to unsnap my shoe from my foot while gauging her heel into my ankle, removing some skin in the process. It did hurt, but I wasn’t about to hunt her down and go off on her for doing something that was an accident and could have happened to anyone.
How can you assign blame when there are so many factors at play? In salsa, people dance on different beats according to their preferences, so if you have three couples in the same vicinity, one dancing on 1, another dancing on 2, and another dancing on 3, plus another couple that are inexperienced and dancing off beat, you have a lot of opportunities for collision. Add to that all the fast movements, the speed of multiple spins, the fancy footwork, and high heels flying every which way. Finally, let’s pretend that not every follower is a perfect follower, and even if they are, that each leader is not well-versed in floorcraft and is not paying attending to every single thing that is going on within a 360 degree radius at all times. At some point, a collision, stepping on someone’s foot, or, god forbid, a flying ponytail, is going to happen.
In fact, it’s a miracle that with all that kinetic energy flying around in every possible direction, that more accidents don’t happen.
We go to the dancefloor to escape the negativity of our lives, to make pure connections with others that are solely based on the music and the dance. It’s a shame when others bring negativity, lack of respect, or hostility into that sacred space.
I’m not saying that all dancefloor injuries are no-fault incidents. When injury occurs due to rough leading, drunken stumbling, or intentional violence, the perpetrator should take full responsibility. Whether the injury is accidental or not, all involved should ensure to the extent possible that the injury has not adversely affected the victim’s ability to dance. However, minor bumps, scrapes and bruises should be expected from time to time and dealt with in a mature and respectful way.
15 comments
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September 3, 2007 at 2:46 am
La Nuit Blanche
this reminds me of that ben stiller movie, where he finds himself in a salsa club. he tries to get off the floor, and gets his face whipped by a dozen ponytails. that scene had me rolling on the floor with laughter. hehe…
September 3, 2007 at 9:35 am
Maria
that does sound funny… which movie is that?
September 3, 2007 at 1:28 pm
La Nuit Blanche
found the title! it was from “along came polly”.
September 4, 2007 at 7:19 am
abu owlfish
Lousy experience. I suspect that his asking you to dance a second time was an inept attempt at an apology for having been such a jerk, though obviously you were right to decline.
September 5, 2007 at 10:06 am
Sharon
Once again another interesting and relevant post. Injuries are so common on the dance floor and as long we we show some grace and courtesy to our fellow dancers we can keep the dance floor positive and welcoming. I commented on some tips for avoiding accidents in my own blog and featured your blog post at: http://www.torontodancesalsa.ca/blog/2007/09/injuries-on-dance-floor.html
Hopefully it will save a few noses and feet
September 6, 2007 at 1:17 pm
miss tango
Thanks for the chuckle Maria!
September 7, 2007 at 8:00 am
musicwork
I laughed out loud with your first paragraph… the image of the poor hapless fellow staggering backwards clutching his eye as a result of your ponytail. But how rude, to storm off!
Some years ago, an American soprano was in Melbourne to sing the lead with the Australian Opera in Turandot. I don’t remember her name, but I read an interview with her in which she came across as a feisty, fun, cool and down to earth woman. She described how she liked to get into the life-blood of a city when she is performing there, so decided to travel to the theatre by tram. She was travelling in peak hour (ie. very crowded, hot sardine tin) and the tram rattled and bumped along (as they do) and she lost her balance and trod on the foot of a nearby woman. The opera singer apologised of course, but the injured party proceeded to whinge and complain, so the most excellent-sounding opera singer got fed up and told her,
“Lady, this is a tram. If you can’t handle it, you go take a taxi!”
Your rude bloke sounds like he would be better off in a private studio, not in the excitement and unpredictability of a club.
He should consider himself lucky you weren’t wearing any combs or barrettes. Those things could be lethal.
September 7, 2007 at 5:10 pm
salsagigolo
At a local salsa practice, I noticed this one girl with beautiful long auburn hair. Whenever she spun, the lead would get an eyeful. I mustered the courage to ask her to dance. And then I spun her
.
September 7, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Maria
Musicwork, I love that story.
This was supposed to be a serious post, I had no idea most readers would find it funny!! Now I have to rent that movie. I think what is funny in retrospect is how worked up people get over really minor “boo-boos” like when you are little and your sibling pinches you and it doesn’t really hurt, but you scream to get the attention you somehow feel will right the wrong done to you.
September 10, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Leading & Following as metaphors « A Time to Dance
[...] out of the way of the lumbering, drunken beginner couple bulldozing their way across the floor (see my post on dancefloor collisions). Whether or not you feel you can trust your leader, you still have to look out for yourself and [...]
February 9, 2008 at 1:20 am
amberlynnlane
I have long hair, and learned that long ponytails, or especially braids, can really hurt a guy. I now tie my hair down when I go dancing. I expect my leads to care for me when they can, and I owe them the same respect. I cut my fingernails for the same reason. A guy once cut my hand with his long fingernails while dancing. I don’t dance with him any more.
However, there ARE tactful ways to handle getting hurt, or hurting someone else. Usually a simple “sorry” or even eye contact and a nod on the dance floor is enough to acknowledge that you know an accident happened and wish it hadn’t. If you can’t forgive accidents, you likely won’t be dancing long.
I once had a swing dance partner who was really upset about all the folks just standing around filling up the only dance-allowed space at a live swing-band concert. He got into the middle of a crowd and began doing really big Charleston kicks. Very soon, he had enough space for us to dance, but I was very embarrassed at all the glares headed our direction.
February 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm
A Closer Look at the Links: Part I
[...] but she has other things to say as well. I enjoyed what she meant to be a serious post about floor-craft, yet many readers found it funny. There’s a reason I usually don’t wear a ponytail when [...]
February 9, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Maria
Amberlynn,
My hair is the bane of my existence when I go dancing. Even though it’s just shoulder-length, it is both heavy and slippery and won’t seem to stay in any sort of updo. I think the night I hit the guy in the face, I was experimenting with something new. It was one of the few things that actually stayed up, but for obvious reasons I haven’t done it up that way since. I forgot to mention in this anecdote that by the time the guy came back to ask me to dance again, my ponytail was tied down. What can I say, I have a vengeful streak
Your story about the guy doing the Charleston kicks reminds me of the guy I went to my high school homecoming dance with that started breakdancing in the middle of the dance floor!
February 10, 2008 at 1:03 am
amandafong
wow, what a bad experience for you. I agree that accidents are bound to happy. Someone had stepped on my ankle on the dance floor in the beginning of September, and it still hurts now. I can’t wear my tight flats anymore because they squeeze my ankle. Sigh. But that’s just all part of the fun of dancing right?
I have been taught that it’s a lead’s responsibility to take care of his follow while dancing with her. It’s a shame that floorcraft is not taught widely as a topic in dance classes. But once you are out there on the dance floor, it’s only wise to watch out for yourself as well. When I dance with someone I have never danced before (thus trust him less), I would always have a quick glance around me before he throws me out there with some wild dance move. The up side of this: I get injured less. The down side of this: I get quite dizzy after a bit. lol
Here’s a blog post from my Swing dance friend about dance etiquette.
http://blog.alainwong.com/2007/07/26/what-to-do-when-you-elbow-or-get-elbowed-on-the-dance-floor/
He points out that usually the person who hits someone by accident feels much worse than the one who got hit. It’s true! Guilt is something very human after all.
February 10, 2008 at 1:05 am
amandafong
Ah, well what do you know! Alain’s dance blog is already on your blogroll! What a small world!